...

Opposite attracts.

But too much differences?

I love him but does he loves me as much as I do?

Please don't let anything BAD happen between us.

Because as much as I deny it in front of him, I know that deep down inside my heart, I couldn't even bring myself to learn to forget him. I love him too much, a mistake of my own.

Yesterday ended with a bit of sakit hati. If your heart hurts, mine is even worse. Because uttering those keji words bleeds my heart. I shouldn't say those words.

Honey, forgive me but deep down inside, I'm still that insecure girl that you hate so much. I need reassurance a lot of time. I'm sorry.

I sometimes feel that we are just too different to be together. But still, you're the best thing in my life. And I don't want to lose you.

Love you, my love. Wherever you are.

The Best Boyfriend Ever. For the time being, anyway.

Not really at the moment but I do feel that he is the best boyfriend ever. When I was in Sarawak, I told him that everyone said I'm fat. I was complaining to him. He told me, he still loves me though I'm fat. It touched my heart.

Yesterday was another one too.

me: GF awk sgt cun hari nie.
him: Memang cun pun selama nie.
me: Hari nie cun lebih sikit. hihi!

I know some of you may think how shallow I am but then again, hey, this is me. I am shallow. He made my day. Some might say that he's a sweet talker. Yes, I know there's a possibility that he might says those things just to make me feel good. However, I feel loved. That's more important to me.

Typing this makes me miss him more.

Back to square one.

He loves me? He loves me, not?

He said he loves me but why the hell did he act like he doesn't?
It happened again.
He asked me when I would leave for Sarawak and when I told him, he said that he'll be going to KL on the Saturday.

It's just like before. The time when I need to fly back to Sarawak and he told me that he wanted to suprise me.

Do you really love me like you said, Baby? Because right now, I don't know what to believe.
I know you'll get fed up if I ask you again and again but it's you who made me feel like this. I hate feeling insecure and all and you know that.

I love you and that's all I know.

I was confused last night. He didn't neutralise my confusion. He told me that he loved me, and nothing else matter. Tho he didn't answer my questions, it was enough for me. It made me asked myself, what more do I want from him?

Why am I being so greedy?
I'm sorry, Baby, for acting the way I did yesterday. I didn't mean to hurt you in any ways at all. I really do hate being insecure because I know it would not only hurt me but it would also hurt you, the person I loved the most.

Yes, nothing else matter as long as I have you and you love me.

Missing him.

I miss him. Badly. Lately, I've been feeling that we're getting further and further away. I missed having him around. I have no one to talk to. It's hard for me to share things like this with anyone. I don't like the idea of people criticising him for nothing. People might have different ideas and I don't like it.

I just need a place to pour out the feeling I have inside. That's all.

I miss him. A lot. Too much perhaps.
And I don't think he even think of me right now.

Okay. Sangat melalut. Should go and mandi now.

Goodbye my love, wherever you are.